I tend to be negative and I know this but also I don’t know this. It’s like I forgot or because I live in my head it just becomes the norm.

Then I will see my cousin M and we’re pretty close. I’ll be talking to her about life and kind of spiralling or like just simply being negative and I’ll come to a conclusion. She’ll then counter what I said with one simple sentence and it leaves me floored, like wow, I didn’t think there was a positive to this but you just showed me there was.

For example, I raised plants from 2020 to 2023. In 2022 most of my plants died. I even wrote a post about my plants, yeah they’re all dead.

I was super sad about that because I really tried hard to keep them all alive and well. I researched. Whenever I went away I gave my mom a word document on how to take care of them and yet they still died.

So yeah, depressing.

Then my cousin was like, how long did you have Rigel for. She doesn’t know its name was Rigel but I was talking about Rigel to her at the time, my last plant.

I had Rigel for like around two years or at the least one and a half. Then she was like, but that’s really good. You kept it alive for that long, I would have killed it in a week.

I was gobsmacked. I did manage to get Rigel to see all four seasons, I did get Rigel to flower and to grow and make new branches and all that. Rigel thrived. He died in the end but he was here long enough.

I also had Chrissy for a while, she moved even moved house with me and survived a traumatic car ride.

I’m not a plant mom, but I wasn’t as horrible as I was making myself out to be and that’s what my cousin was pointing out. So, the more I spend time with her or just watch how she lives I realise what it is to truly be a positive person.

She does everything that she wants with no hesitation. I asked her if she ever worries that her plans won’t work out and she’s like, if they don’t then they don’t. I’ll move on to something else.

For me I find this hard to do. It definitely takes work for me to get to this point.

But yeah, shout out to my cousin for showing me a new perspective on life.