*cue Pain’s theme music*

Life is pain.

No, but I remember really vibing with Pain when I was a kid. But that’s not the point of this post.

I write, like stories, and my stories tend to be on the happy side. I don’t really write angst and if I do it gets resolved. When I read I also like stories where the conflict gets resolved or where the angst gets resolved in a satisfying way.

Recently, I went to the Van Gogh exhibit and I was reading about his life and I just felt sad.

My one fear as an author is my work being appreciated when I’m dead. Have you watched that one Doctor Who episode where they bring Van Gogh to the future to show him how his work is appreciated and loved? Yeah, it killed me.

However, I don’t think that will ever happen to me because I’m not at a JRR Tolkien level of writing.

But the thought of the person who made the art never getting to see their art being appreciated made me sad so I’ve always had a soft spot for Van Gogh.

My favourite painting is Starry Night, I know I have basic taste but I just love it.

But at the exhibit, reading about his life, and also having had a hard morning it got me thinking. Is this the only way that good art can be made?

The trope of the starving/suffering artist is well known. It’s even encouraged and sought after. And I hate that.

Can we not make art out of joy? Out of love? Out of merry?

Why is it that the best art comes out of suffering?

Some of Van Gogh’s most famous pieces were painted whilst he was in a psychiatric hospital. He cut a part of his ear. He went through a lot of troubles and yet he created great art.

Having said that, he did create one of the sunflower series whilst in a good place I believe. So it wasn’t all doom and gloom.

Plus, there are artists that make art out of being in love.

But taking love out of it, what about people who live plain lives. Those who don’t have any drama going on and just have an average happy life. Do they make great art?

I think I want to focus on such artists more because honestly the depressed artist troupe is depressing me.

I found myself falling into that troupe. My stories were not becoming successful and I realised I made a mistake self-publishing as now it is impossible to get traditionally published. Did I know this when I started? No.

My writing doesn’t pay the bills nor sustain me so I have to have a job I in the corporate world so that I can do the things that I love.

I really started to resent my work and writing because it wasn’t getting me anywhere. I then had to ask myself why I wrote in the first place.

I wrote because it made me happy, it released stress and I really enjoyed seeing my friends enjoy my work. (I used to write in Secondary School and they ate it up). It was a fun time and I never wanted to commercialise my work, it was purely for enjoyment.

However, my friends asked me to try as they thought it would be a shame if I didn’t so I did.

So, it’s come full circle and I’m thinking, perhaps writing should remain a hobby for me and I should just enjoy it. I should write out of happiness rather than sorrow.

I want to invest in my real life before I go back to writing again. I don’t want to create my best work out of sadness and suffering, if I can help it. I want to create my best work out of happiness or contentment. Out of a life well lived.