This is a popular saying, ‘two’s a company and three’s a crowd’. It is typically used in friendships. For example, you have an iconic duo, they’re best friends and then a third person comes in and either the duo rejects that person oor one of the original duo gets kicked out.

It’s a saying that states close friends only come in twos and when it gets to three there is always someone who will be left out. I mean best friend necklaces, the one we got as kids, only come with two halves.

I do think there is truth to this saying. As a kid I was obsessed with the idea of having a best friend. I blame it on the fact that I am an only child. I was always looking for my platonic soulmate. And there were various times where I thought I had found them.

However, I quickly found that sometimes feelings aren’t reciprocated, even in friendship. I found that I would love a friend more than they loved me. Or sometimes I was the villain. I would realise later on that one friend loved me more than I loved them.

So, after getting hurt or hurting others I said to myself, no more! My only best friend is my childhood best friend because our relationship will never change! Lol, spoiler alert, it did change.

That childhood bff was a child of a family friend. We were really close with them from the moment I moved to the UK. And to be honest we had a good run for a good number of years. Then things happened and COVID and I haven’t seen them in years. It was both an abrupt change and a gradual one.

Also, people change. It’s scary how we don’t stay the same. I mean it’s good too but sometimes it’s scary. You were such an important person to me and now you’re gone. That’s hard to deal with sometimes.

However, even before the crumbling of that relationship I had already become disillusioned about the whole best friends thing. In fact, I think I did posts on here about it in my 20’s series. So, it wasn’t all because of the childhood best friend. I just figured that having a best friend would leave people out.

So, I eventually came to the conclusion that I either have friends or acquaintances.

I feel like I’ve said this before but we need to use the word acquaintance more. It’s so useful! Is there a friend you only small talk with, only go to the club/cinema with or with whom you have a surface level friendship? They’re an acquaintance! Ever since I adopted that mindset, I’ve been at peace and I’ve enjoyed my friendships more.

Sure, I still have moments of tribulation in my friendships but nothing as bad as my teens and early 20s.

Now that my mindset has changed that saying doesn’t apply to me because three is not a crowd. I have friendships groups where adding a third person enhances the dynamic. In fact, why stop at three let’s invite two more people!

When I stopped taking the whole best friends thing seriously, it became easier to ensure no one got left out.

Having said that, it is inevitable that you will be closer to a certain person or persons. Ironically, when I stopped looking for a platonic soulmate I found one. I do have someone who gets me on a level no one else ever has. However, even with that person we don’t leave others out. In fact, she’s someone who loves people and has many friends.

I don’t know her friends but if they’re having a get together or planning a trip she invites me along too (of course as long as her friends are cool with that) and I do the same.

We’re very much a duo but we’re not an exclusionary duo. I feel if we met someone who also got us on that level and we bonded on a deep level our duo would become a trio without a struggle.

So, the saying definitely can be true but it can also be false. It all depends on your mindset when it comes to friendships.

Also, some people do not have the energy for many friends. My friend has a lot of friends but I do not. I have a handful and I am cool with that.

Also, if the saying applies to you and you truly only have space in your heart for one best friend… I feel like it’s better to be honest with yourself and others about that. It’s something important to acknowledge because then you can make sure to set time aside for that friend where it is just the two of you so you can get your fill of them. Then after that you can have group hang outs and you’ll be present in the moment as you already had your duo moment.

Does that make sense?

It’s also ok to admit when you’re jealous. When you acknowledge the feeling it is much easier to address.

Anyway, it was something I was thinking about and I still think about when I people watch or watch kpop content. I find it interesting how friendships work for different people.

Honestly, should I be an anthropologist? I’ve been saying this for a while now… too bad I hate school. I can’t go back to university, it’s expensive and I feel like I’m still burnt out from the last time. However, if I get rich in my 40s and finally have a soothed brain, watch out! I’ll be in there like swimwear.