I got a 9 – 5 job and yes when I get acrylic nails again I will doing Dolly Parton’s 9 – 5 with abandon! No one can stop me!

*ahem*

So, I got a regular degular job and it is what I wanted, stability. Before this job I did jobs with no stability at all, all whilst struggling to break into the careers of my dreams (journalism and being an author). So it was refreshing to step into a job where it was guaranteed I would get paid and get a good reference.

You can’t survive the job market without a good reference.

And after being broke, there’s something joyous about getting paid. I don’t even get paid that much but I’m grateful because I got paid peanuts before. Honestly, I understand Nami more and more each day. When you come from a place where you desperately needed money, once you have it the feeling doesn’t go away. You still sit there anxious like, I need to be careful.

But then like I said, it’s joyous because I can buy things for myself I never could. I can *gasp* venture out of my city! It’s mad.

So, I was watching Obi Wan, I loved it, great series, Ewan can do no wrong. However that first episode, he really captured the nature of a 9 – 5. Yeah, it can be soul crushing if you don’t love your job. Yes, it can feel samey day in and day out and yes you can question, “Is this really what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.” But it can also be a nice escape.

Obi Wan is scared. He’s broken and he’s recovering from a trauma. That 9 – 5 life gives him structure where he doesn’t have to think too hard, all he has to do is show up day to day and check on Luke. He just has to live one day at a time.

I don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore. I don’t have a plan. But my job tells me to show up everyday and to do this and to do that and for now that’s all I have to worry about and its refreshing. It keeps away the existential dread for three weeks a month.

Although, I’ve been re-watching Friends recently and it makes me wonder if I’ll end up like Chandler. He took the job as a temp thing (what did he major in at Uni?) and then he stayed there because it was secure, they offered him a promotion and he got paid. He needed to pay the bills. And sure, he ended up leaving in his 40s (?) and had to figure himself out later in life, like his dreams, but is that a bad thing? Sometimes you’re a late bloomer? And those years in the job he hated he was able to save a lot of money. Chandler was money smart to be honest.

But sometimes I do wonder about the effects of a soul crushing job on our psyche. Even though you get paid, does it harm us mentally? I know the stress can get to people but what about just numbness?

Also, the biggest thing you have to worry about is the effects of sitting every day. You have to exercise. There are people who retire with their body damaged. It’s not just your eyes and back you need to watch out for but your joints, hips, too.

All in all, we don’t all have the luxury of working our dream jobs. Some of us don’t make it, some of us don’t succeed and a 9 – 5 is our life line. So these days it’s my sweet escape, and when it gets too much at least I have holidays. Thank goodness for holidays. I could never be American. I need the British holiday system.