I excel about being alone. I haven’t always been alone but since I moved to England as a child I have. I am an only child and was not allowed to play with the neighbourhood kids so I excel at solitude.

Basically, I have a lot of hobbies and they helped me entertain myself. As I’ve grown up this skill has helped me. I can go to movies by myself and I’m fine. I can go out to eat by myself and I’m fine. I can travel by myself. I can go for walks by myself, go to the library, go to a park, go to the beach… I can do many things by myself with no issue.

Or so I thought.

This year I have discovered that there are things that are better done with friends.

I do have friends, and I cherish them but like I said I have a lot of hobbies which translates into me having a lot of interests. My friends don’t align with all those interests.

For example, none of my friends like kpop the same way I do. So, for concerts I mostly go by myself. I went with a friend to see Ateez and that was great (woop woop) but for Dreamcatcher and NCT Dream I was alone.

It was lonely for NCT Dream because I wasn’t able to make any friends, I was shy and everyone was grouped up, and so I enjoyed the concert alone. It was alright but it would have been great to have a friend to get excited with.

For Dreamcatcher it actually wasn’t bad, I made friends with other girls who had come by themselves so yay.

Then there’s the festival I went to and the Grease experience. I had no one to take my picture or to chill with during the down time. I had no one to enjoy the live experience with. At those two events I actually did feel lonely. Especially at the festival.

You are probably thinking, just make friends dude.

I’m shy. I cannot just go up to people and talk to them. The Dreamcatcher concert was an anomaly and also, when I sense someone is shier than me, suddenly I’m chatty.

So, yeah as I approach another decade of life I’m realising I would like to not always experience things alone. I don’t mean I want a romantic partner, no. I mean it would be nice to go to events with someone who had similar interests to me.

A work friend was so sweet, she was like, “Don’t go concerts by yourself, I’ll come with even if it’s not my kind of music” and honestly, that was so sweet. It made my day.

This is also one down side of having a lot of friends that either live in a different city or a different country or a different continent to you… I need more local friends.  

However, I am an introvert so we’ll see. It’s like I want to make more friends but I am content with the number that I have now. A kpop friend is always welcome though, if I find one I’ll be set for life (for concerts).

So, yeah I love doing things alone but not everything. Some things I would like to experience with someone else.