Don’t Be Selfish in Love

This news is old but Chen is getting married and is expecting a baby with his soon to be wife. His fiancé is a normal person, so a non-celebrity and they have been dating and were going to announce the news at some point (even talked to SM and his band mates about it) but then they found out that she was pregnant and obviously decided to announce the news earlier.

Now Chen is not going to leave Exo and Exo, the other members, are standing with him. Even SM had to come out and say that Chen is not going to get kicked out because at this point if one more member leaves they ALL will leave. (I second that, we’ve been through too much to lose another).

Why did SM have to come out and say that? Because some fans have come out and been very vocal about how they want Chen to leave because he let them down and is letting Exo down. To this day they are crying about it.

They think he’s giving Exo a bad name and that he lied to them and all that jazz.

In kpop there is this boyfriend/girlfriend fantasy. The idols create this fantasy with their fans that they are their boyfriend. Never mind that the fans find their own real boyfriends and still expect their favs to remain single… like what?

I have beef with this fantasy creation and this Chen situation highlights most of the reasons why I have beef with it.

It is not realistic; they will never date their fans, not the delusional ones anyway. I mean yeah Chen’s fiancée is a normal woman but I am sure she is not a delusional fan or a possessive fan.

Also with this fantasy fans seem to forget that kpop idols are normal people, no matter what the company wants you to think they are human and they are not products and they should be treated as such.

They need love, they need friendship and they need to feel human emotion. They can get angry, frustrated and sad. They can feel dissatisfied and disillusioned. They are not happy 24/7. And once again they can fall in love.

You’re probably thinking but that’s obvious Gift. Is it? I’ve heard fans complain about idols feeling all of the above emotions or for wanting to date.

And yet those same fans get boyfriends, get married and have children. Like, what in the hypocrisy?!

I love Got7 because they always call out their fans. When their fans be like, “I got a boyfriend!” they respond with, “So I can date too right? Great!” Or Jack will joke with his fans like, “I see you looking at other boy groups! How dare you cheat on me.”

It is better to joke or to call fans out because it really snaps them out of that mind-set.

I’m not saying it’s Chen’s fault, no because the delusional fans have been called out and they’re not listening. And yes Exo was one of those groups to build the fantasy but they broke that fantasy when they started dating. Kai has dated twice (that we know of *wink wink*) and Baekhyun once (again that we know of), and the rest haven’t been caught. So I was confused, Chen is twenty eight this year… why are they surprised and angry? He’s fully grown!

Plus they’re acting like him having a family will stop him from singing… err no. He was releasing a lot of content last year, had his own solo debut and I’m sure he was dating and having a merry good time with his fiancée whilst making that content, so clearly man can multi task!

At the end of the day the fans are being selfish. They expect him to live his life for them. They expect him to not love and to just make music like a good robot. Fans like that are not true fans in my opinion.

It’s not just Chen either; there are other celebrities in Korea who have had a hard time with this. And not just kpop artists but actors too can be given a hard time.

If you truly admire and support someone then wouldn’t you want them to be happy? Sure, Kai is one of my celebrity crushes, if he asked me out I would say yes… but that probably won’t happen and so if he came out tomorrow saying he’s in love and going to get married I will 100% support and be happy for him because yay, he found love. He’s happy.

How can you see someone get wonderful news and be mad about it?

So yeah, don’t be like those fans, don’t be selfish.

This doesn’t just apply to kpop or kdramas. There are girls who get mad when their crush doesn’t end up with them and wish ill on their new relationship. Don’t be that person. Whilst you’re hating you could be missing out on your own epic love story that is waiting around the corner.


Ps: I wonder if fans are mad because she’s a normal person. If he’d married a celebrity would they have let it go or been less angry? I don’t know, either way they suck.

One thought on “Don’t Be Selfish in Love

  1. Yeah and people are still talking about this mess today. Chen owes us NOTHING. We don’t own him and a true EXO-L will support him regardless. I think this is a Korean thing or maybe Asian issue because, in America, this happens all the time and we still love our celebs. No one hated Beyonce when she got married and had 4 kids. We have had so many celebrities do this and keep working. I will never stop supporting EXO nor Chen. Anyone who has a problem can move on somewhere. That man’s voice is beautiful and his wife and child are lucky to have that beautiful voice and all his friends around them.

    Liked by 1 person

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