Reading People

I used to think I was quite good at reading people. That I could tell what kind of person I wanted to be friends with and those that I didn’t want to be friends with. I could tell who I would click with and who I wouldn’t click with.

I thought this because of life experiences and my personality. I went to a girl’s school for secondary school and that was a learning experience. You really learn a lot about yourself and women in those five years.

I also thought I was good at people watching or just gaining a vibe from people.

Then I went to work on a summer camp and I was dead wrong about certain people. Looking back there were warning signs and I should have listened to them but I remember thinking the warning signs were not a big deal. I also remember thinking, “So they made a mistake that hurt me, I’ve made mistakes too.” And true I have and you shouldn’t judge others but if someone goes out of their way to hurt you… don’t be friends with them. You can forgive and move on.

Then I got another lesson from family members. Family is in your life forever and for most of my life I’ve been blessed to have majority good experiences with my family. There have been bad moments but overall it’s been good.

However as I’ve become an adult I’ve learned more about people. I’ve learnt that I was wrong about certain people and the benefit of the doubt that I gave them was wrongly given. That’s cryptic but I don’t want to say more than that. In a nutshell, my trust was broken.

And it’s scary to have that happen in family. It’s like wow, you of all people?

It’s sad.

So because of those experiences I’ve started to doubt myself. Am I really a good judge of character? Am I too nice? Am I too trusting?

I tend to expect the best in people before I expect the worst. And I’m wondering if that will bite me in the ass one day.

On the bright side my mom has raised me to always be wary, just in case, so I never let people in 100% when first meeting them. Which is a good thing, I think.

It is good to have a trusting heart but it is also good to have your eyes wide open. You don’t want to give your trusting heart to the wrong person.

Perhaps these experiences have taught me to trust my instincts and to listen to the warning signs because in both situations there were big warning signs.

Warning signs are there for a reason, they are there to help you. Investigate them and listen to them and it will save you trouble, honestly.

To end on a bright note, for all the times I’ve been wrong I’ve been right five times more. I’ve made good friends and had lovely experiences with those friends. I have great family members who have supported me and looked out for me, and they outweigh the bad.

So I guess I need to focus on the good and not just on the bad, every day I learn this lesson.

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