We’ve all done it right? We’ve all admired someone for one thing or another and wanted a life like theirs. However I’ve found as I’ve grown older that life is never how you think it will be.

So I may admire this celebrity because they get to act and I wanted to be an actor once upon a time. However would I really enjoy the media’s attention? Could I really participate in fast fashion? Could I really value an awards ceremony that only values white people? (And even within white people it is mostly white men who benefit). No I would not like all those things and my spirit could have been crushed.

Things always look nice when you’re on the outside looking in but once you cross that fence and see the grass on the other side for what it really is it can be eye opening.

This has me thinking of adulthood. It looks really appealing when you’re a child. You get freedom! You get to have your own money but mostly it was the freedom and being taken seriously that I looked forward to. Cut to now and I wish I’d valued the security of being a child, of having people take care of me or living in a country where the law has to take care of me if anything bad were to happen.

But if you’d told young Gift that she would not have believed you. Ok, she may have a little. When people came to me with ominous sayings I tended to listen.

So what I’m trying to say is there’s no point in having someone else’s life as your goal as you don’t know what it’s truly like to live that life. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having the same dream as someone or being inspired but it’s good to go into whatever field you’re aspiring for with wide open eyes.

This goes for relationships too and that’s what sparked this post. Of course relationships are a little different. Whilst I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having the same dream as someone or being inspired, I think it is wrong to call someone else’s relationship goals.

I didn’t understand this until I got into a relationship myself. I really wanted what everyone else had. I went through my teenage years never having a boyfriend and I really wanted to experience that love. But it’s not easy being in a relationship and things don’t always work out how you hoped.

I ended up realising the world had overhyped romance and that I preferred my independence.

I found that whilst relationships have similarities all relationships are unique to the two people in the relationship. Also you never know what is going on in someone else’s relationship.

People always want to come out looking better than their partner. This doesn’t just apply to post breakup. When people talk about themselves in their relationship to their friends and family, they rarely paint themselves in a bad light. This is even truer with celebrities and influencers.

Celebrities and influencers have more to lose and so they will never be completely honest or let you completely in and to be honest they don’t have to. As Ms Tabitha would say, it’s their business and not ours.

However I point that out to say we should beware or admiring celebrity and influencer relationships because as amazing as they seem on camera, they could be a whole different story off camera.

This year and last year alone I’ve seen so many people I follow go through hardships and divorces and it’s like… wow. Even my eyes were opened to be honest.

I knew before last year that influencers don’t show everything and their life could be completely different off camera but I was still shocked. Sometimes you know something but you’re still surprised when it happens. Maybe it’s because I’m a kinetic learner… or not, I don’t know.

So yeah, don’t see a celebrity’s or an influencer’s relationship as goals, there is a lot we don’t see.

However if you think they’re cute I see nothing wrong with that. I guess it’s more like just as they draw a line that we shouldn’t cross we should also draw a line in our hearts and not get too carried away in our admiration. They’re just human after all.