Stagnant

I haven’t been writing on here that much and that has not been on purpose. I didn’t indeed to take a break but I guess that’s what I’ve been doing. Also, I started making YouTube videos more and so my concentration went there for the most part. I have especially been enjoying doing album reviews.

I talk about manga and anime on there too but that’s not as rewarding as no one watches tbh. Although, I could say the same for my reviews although of late more people have been watching which has been nice. I don’t know how they’re finding my videos but I appreciate it.

I promised myself I would try YouTube for a year, like as in consistently making videos instead of just making a video when I felt like it (which is what I did for two years or so before). So far, we’re almost at the half way point of the year and it is hard. I want to give up because yeah, no interaction and tbh I don’t enjoy that. Who wants to talk to themselves? But I made a promise to myself so I’ll stick with it.

So there’s that but also I’ve been worrying about a lot of things, mostly money, and trying to promote my book (The Chief’s Revenge) and worrying about the marketing.

Side bar: I just googled my book so I could provide a link and it is on Waterstones!! Sure, there’s no picture and it’s made to order but Waterstones! That’s a dream of mine! I tried so hard to get it in Waterstones way back when… wow.

Then also I’ve just been stagnant. My life at the moment honestly sucks. I’m not where I want to be and I don’t know what the next step is for me. I’m staring at a bleak future and that honestly scares me.

I blame that on my choices in life. Past Gift should have planned better. If I could go back and slap Past Gift and bring her to her senses and then present her a plan which will secure our futures and makes us happier I would. So, invent that time machine…. anytime now!

*gasp* should I invent that time machine? I honestly would not mind doing that. If only I had a head for maths.

So yeah a lot has been going on but also nothing has been going on. It’s a weird in-between.

The one thing that has brought me joy though is getting to see my friends again (England is loosening up slowly), I’ve been upping my game in cooking (I never thought I would be a good cook but yo! I’m evolving! My game is improving), I love writing fan fiction because of that instant connection and having people comment (it makes my whole day and sometimes week honestly) and music. If there’s one thing for sure I love music.

So yeah, that’s me and why I’ve been AWOL. I don’t like writing negative things as I want this blog to uplift people or to inspire conversation but I had to be honest.

If I randomly disappear again just know the lethargy and apathy has taken a hold of me.

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