Star Wars: The Rant Review *SPOILERS*

 

luke
Found in: https://xkcd.com/1397/

So I finally watched Star Wars!

I was so excited and people were killing me on Twitter with the jokes and the memes that I had to go and see it. Also I’ve been excited since January and the premiers were looking good.

So I saw it and overall I liked it but I felt like I had to get the negative review out before I moved onto the positive review.

*SPOILERS AHEAD… WARNING*

(Now you can’t say I didn’t warn you)

I did not like Kylo Ren, or Ben as Han calls him or The Douche Bag as I call him. I mean was I the only one who thought he acted like a brat? All he did was throw his weight around and throw big temper tantrums when things didn’t go his way. He seemed way too full of himself and his abilities when really he had to kill the other Jedi so he had a shot at being the best. And he kept going on about how he did it for Darth Vader his grandfather… Bitch please you’re doing it for yourself!

For one thing at least with Anakin I could see why he went the way he did but Ben? … Not really … but maybe my questions will be answered in the next episode.

For another thing finish what Anakin aka Darth Vader started… you mean how he brought balance back to the force by getting rid of the Lord of the Sith? And if you wanted to be like your Grandfather why would you let yourself be under anyone’s control? Even Darth Vader wanted out from under the Sith, even before Luke showed up. It looks like someone wasn’t listening in history class at Luke’s Jedi school.

Let’s move on from Ben before I get angry. What is with the Jedi? Hate on the prequels as much as you want but at least we got to see what it was like when the Jedi existed and kicked ass.

I just don’t understand why they always get wiped out. First by Anakin and now by Ben like why? Are people on the Light side not allowed to fight back and wipe the floor with Ben? I’m sure they are because Obi Wan sure did wipe the floor with Anakin in the Revenge of the Sith. I was so frustrated with the movie because it was like it had taken ten thousand steps backwards from the Jedi Returns. Clearly the Jedi have not returned. Ren has sent them back to when the Empire ruled… thanks Ren, thanks a bunch.

This movie was great for other reasons, soon to be discussed in another blog post, but it just felt like I was watching the original movies. I didn’t feel like a new plot was being explored … if you’re going to make an episode 7 why not get creative, why are you sticking to the Darth Vader narrative? George Lucas gave you the reigns, so what’s stopping you from getting creative?

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