When you realise you’re weird

You don’t wake up one day and think hey I’m pretty weird. At least I didn’t. I mean we live with ourselves all time, the one person you will 100% always be with is yourself and so if you’re used to yourself and your behaviour you don’t see it as weird.

Am I right?

So my friends in secondary school would always be like “You’re strange”. It wasn’t mean or anything they said it in a nice way and we got along so I ignored it. I would always think to myself “I’m normal, they’re the strange ones”… in fact I think I said it out loud and then we had a debate about who was weirder… perhaps this proves that we both were. But I never admitted that I was, in my head or otherwise.

However looking back a part of me must have known. Because I would never completely open up to someone unless I knew that they would accept me and that they wouldn’t look at me like I was some sort of freak. Believe it or not that did happen, so I was wary when making new friends and I still am to an extent.

But when I was in Australia I was completely chilled, I was like this is the place for me. The vibe and the atmosphere totally suited me and because I knew no one I made friends easily. And it was there that I realised I was weird.

I don’t remember what it was but I said something and everyone’s reaction was to lol and I was like ? why? And they said it was because they never thought of it that way (whatever it was we were talking about) and then it was like light hit me. I sat there and my life history played in my mind. I remembered how my closest friends who truly knew me would remake on how weird I was and how blunt and outside the box or random I could be. And then I thought if I’m the only one who thinks this way and I’m the odd one out then by logic I’m the weird one!

It was a shock, for the first time I was seeing what everyone else saw. I wasn’t sad or anything, in fact it was like enlightenment. I finally saw it and I liked it.

I still do. I wouldn’t change me for anyone and I’m thankful God made me this way as I believe there is a reason I’m like this. I have been able to make friends and connect with people and have fun in a way others don’t and I love it.

I decided to write about this because I’ve been watching BTS (방 탄소년단) videos and interviews and I’ve noticed that V 태형doesn’t see the extra-ordinariness in him. And when I watch him I’m like “I was there once, I didn’t see it and then I did and I was like oh they’re right”. He’s so cool and 4D (4차원) and I love that about him. (But I don’t agree with calling him alien, I think he’s tired of that concept).

He’s one celebrity who I would actually like to meet and be friends with as I feel we’d get on… so I guess it’s on with the Korean language learning! So that when we meet we may converse.

That is all!

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