I was watching an interview of Salt n Pepa by Wendy and it was pretty good. I like Salt and Pepa so I enjoyed getting to hear from them. They were talking about the rap game and how there is still a small amount of women in the business compared to men.

Then I was thinking today, if I was talented and I became a rapper, would the current female rappers be like yes! Or would they just hate on me? Would they view me as a challenge and try to get rid of the competition? Me?

I think it’d be the latter sadly. Lately we’ve been on a girl love rampage but when you think about it we tear each other down more than we lift each other up. I’d like to think my generation will change the game but even I am not sure.

If you want to change the world start with yourself. So I always try to lift up my fellow sisters rather than take them down.

If I had a boyfriend and he cheated on me, I would be mad at the girl AND the guy. Have you ever seen scenarios where this guy will flirt and cheat and won’t treat his girl with respect and yet his girl gets mad at the females who flirt and cheat with him but they let the guy off? Like whaaat? Be mad at both of them, that man ain’t for you!

How about when you’re talented at something and another female is talented at it as well. I ain’t mad at them for that. In fact I’m glad. I have a partner! I write, she writes, together we can write an awesome book. We can help each other get published. It doesn’t have to be a bloodbath competition.

This is one reason I love actresses like Taraji P. Henson. Instead of being mad that someone else won they’re happy, genuinely happy for them.

Another example: when your fellow sister looks fly and instead of complimenting her you get jealous and you get mad. Now come on, just because she looks good it doesn’t mean you don’t. Does it hurt to compliment someone? No. It really doesn’t. Unless you really have that much pride.

And finally the killer, when you like the same guy. Now we’re all guilty of getting jealous because of a guy. I’ve learnt that it’s not worth it. Examine why you’re jealous first. Are you dating him? Do you feel like he’s giving other females attention that you feel he should be giving you? Does he make you secure in the knowledge that he likes you?

Unless your friend or this female is actively trying to steal your man I don’t see why you have to be jealous. And if you are jealous and this female is not actively trying to steal your man then maybe you need to take a look at your man.

Or if you’re not going out with him but you like him and you’ve made it known to him and he does nothing about it and he carries on in his flirty ways… forget him! He’s not into you or he’s playing some game and you don’t need that in your life.

The reason I’m going through all these examples is this. There is always another option to hate. There is always an option to love and to uplift. There’s always an option to encourage and to help. Sometimes instead of hating on the girl look at the guy. And if a girl is toxic in your life ask yourself why? What is she going through that is making her react like this? If you really have tried and you’re just getting hurt then fade away, ghost her. Sometimes there are female friends who are too toxic to keep around. And that’s okay but don’t let that taint your view of the whole female population.

If we really mean this girl love thing then lets practice what we preach.