Being Ambivert

Some people don’t believe in this category because of the Myers Briggs personality types.

Some people think you can only either be introvert or extrovert.

I beg to differ. Plus do you know how many personality tests there are in this world? I did another one at my summer camp job and I was an 8 (sorry I can’t remember the name of the test we did). At least my boss understood that that test had it’s limits and wasn’t 100% accurate. The same can be said for the Myers Briggs test. It isn’t perfect and it’s dated. Plus I don’t agree with it putting you in a box for the rest of your life. People’s mindsets change as they grow older, tbh I preferred my camp test as at least it took that into account (I should really remember what it was called… hold on… found it was the Enneagram sorting test).

Also I took the Myers Briggs test more than once to make sure it was right and I got a new personality each time. It told me to be honest with myself and you know what I realised that even when I was honest there are some things I don’t know about myself yet. There are aspects of my character that I don’t notice until a situation points it out to me.

Hence forth the test is flawed. It ain’t perfect.

That was not the point of this post however.

I don’t feel like an introvert. Most people meet me and think “Oh she’s so quiet, she’s an introvert.” Or because I don’t hang out with a ton of people I must be introverted. But I don’t gain energy from being alone. I love people and when I like you, I prefer to hang with you. I gain from those interactions.

But I do have moments where I just want to rest and be alone and to have me time. But isn’t that natural?

As I grow older I think my life experiences have made me wary of certain types of people. I have a very low tolerance for certain types of people and it doesn’t help that I have an awkward, quirky personality. So when you find me and I’m not socialising and I’m not getting in there it’s not cause I’m introverted it’s because I’ve already tried to socialise and I didn’t like it.

I’ve found that with some people I just can never move past the small talk phase, and I hate small talk.

I’ll give you one example. At uni I joined the Anime Society because I love anime. I thought it’d be great nerds uniting and having fun. It wasn’t. It was hella awkward and super cliquey. I was so surprised and it was hard to make friends with anyone. So I stopped going because it was lonely and I didn’t like it. In my second year however I joined the Korean Society, random right? I’m not Korean. But I was walking past their booth and this was when I was beginning to get interesting in learning Korean. They had advertised free Korean lessons at a church nearby to be given by the church’s Korean pastor. I was like score it’s free! So I asked them “Can I just go or do I have to join your society?”. They said I could just go and gave me the address but they encouraged me to join their society. I was shocked, me? I’m not Korean, I said. They said, What does it matter? Join. So I did and I thought it was going to be sooo awkward and I’d be so out of place but it was one of the best societies I have ever joined. They were welcoming, we played games, I made friends, there were no cliques and it was fun.

Two different situations two different outcomes. That’s what I’m trying to say, it really depends with me.

At my core I love people, I love getting to know people and making friends. But I hate small talk, I don’t like feeling lonely and I do need alone time but not all the time. I can’t stand nonsense and as I get older I don’t feel the need to talk to everyone anymore.

We change as we grow and I can’t accept being put into the introvert category or the extrovert category. I am a mixture of both and then some and for now ambivert is the best way to describe me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s