Dating is exhausting. Thinking about it is exhausting.
When things go right it’s amazing. You go on a first date, it’s cute and awkward. You have your kosher first kiss. Then more dates occur and less kosher kisses.
At work my co workers were talking about how after six months that’s when it gets serious. Wow, that is a lot of time. But I’m guessing if it’s with the right person it doesn’t feel long. Kind of like when I was in school, time flies.
So you’ve made it to six months and y’all are serious. He’s your boyfriend and/or she’s your girlfriend. Then at some point you meet the parents/guardians. Then at some point you have sex or you don’t if you’re waiting for marriage. Then you may or may not move in together. Then you may or may not get engaged and then married.
This process varies for everyone, I’ve seen people take it slooooooooooooooow and I’ve seen people meet and then six months later they’re engaged (I was so shocked, it happened so fast but they were happy so whatever).
It’s cute and it’s fun and I’m not knocking it at all.
But honestly I’d rather let my mom arrange a marriage for me (but she refuses).
The thought of going through this process gives me a headache. There are so many variables. Some women have to date a LOT of frogs before they get to their man or woman.
Imagine investing so much time in frogs … frogs!
I’m an SDA Christian so I’m waiting for marriage, do you know how hard it is to wait? It’s not like I’m dead inside, I’m not! But the thought of going through guy after guy until I find the one for me … Headache.
I’ve seen people get married now at my age, so early twenties, but I’ve also seen people get engaged in their fifties. And the lady in her fifties waited and was earnestly (I think) looking but she never found anyone. Imagine waiting that long. She had a will of fire and a hope of fire as well, she never gave up and it paid off but I don’t think I could do it.
Now you’re probably going to think, “Man you’re young, what’s the problem? It’ll happen just be patient”. Well I say to you sir or madame, you don’t know it’ll happen. You cannot see into my future only God can. I have no interest in wading through the frogs. In life I want to have a steady income, a place to live and kids and I can adopt. I want to adopt. For men however there is no guarantee that it will work out. So instead of wasting years I’ve decided to cut that part out of my life. I don’t need the headache.
If that just bummed you out I’m sorry. For others who are willing to put the time and effort in go ahead, it will probably work out for you. As for me I’d rather not. I don’t want to look and constantly fail and then become bitter or extremely lonely. There are other joys in life, I’d rather go for the attainable ones.
Also marriage doesn’t guarantee success, he can leave and then you’ll be alone again. Then what? That’s pessimistic of me but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think that. Also I only want to get married once, it’s serious for me and in this day and age with my generation I’m starting to wonder if there are many people who take it as seriously as I do.
Also the double standards kill me! I don’t want to get married and then become a maid. Looking after my kids and a giant baby called a man. Omd relationships are hard! So to everyone trying to marry me off, read this and ask yourselves, is it worth it? Is it worth me wasting my time? Can you get me to think of it in a positive way? I doubt it. I’m stubborn.
Gift out 2!