Physical Affection is Weird

I was reading something about holding hands and I realised, if you think about it for too long physical affection is really weird.

I mean holding hands? You take someone else’s appendage and hold it and it’s satisfying and pleasant. It’s just a hand! I know there’s a reason it’s pleasurable and we have nerve endings there and everything but still it’s just a hand… and yet it’s so powerful. Sometimes all someone needs is for you to hold their hand and it helps them.

How about hugging? You put your arms around someone else and hold them close and stand there or sit there for a while. It’s a very simple thing and yet some people struggle with this. Some people hate being held close to other people like, “Why are you touching me?” whereas some people love it (i.e.: me, but with people I know). It’s another simple thing that can do so much for a person.

It has benefits like reducing your blood pressure, raising your oxytocin levels and bettering your heart health. What? I always imagine explaining something to a child. When you explain something to a child you realise how weird it is that humans do this.

Then we try to put it on animals that when we see two animals holding each other close we’re like, “Aww they’re in love!” When they could be engaged in a death embrace. Or the difference between cats and dogs, cats show affection in a different way from dogs like slow blinking, an erect tail means they’re happy and a twitching tail means they’re agitated, both of which mean different things if a dog does them. And yet most people don’t understand that and judge cats. We all show affection differently ok! Learn other people’s love language!

Speaking of love languages this is just one of the languages. There’s also quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation and gifts. So like I said someone may not like physical affection but they’ll like these other four.

That was a tangent within a tangent, let’s move on.

What about cuddling? I used to hate the thought of sharing a bed with someone. My bed is my special place and I do not like to be touched when sleeping. I have since relaxed my stance on this and I am open to light cuddling or just general sleeping close to one another. I found it is not so bad as I thought. It depends on the person. I shared the bed with an aunt and she pinned me down with her leg. Nope, did not like that. But sleeping close to someone, that’s not bad.

Kissing, kissing is the weirdest act ever! I can understand sex because that’s for reproduction and apparently it’s enjoyable. I mean as a kid I didn’t understand why on earth it would be enjoyable but now knowing the science of it I understand. But science didn’t help me understand kissing! Nope! It’s just two lips touching. That is it! If you’re freaking out about your first kiss, mate that’s all there is to it.

And yet we make such a big deal out of it. My friend also described it as swapping salvia and I was like, ew, way to add to my hang ups.

But apparently when you feel the elusive spark kissing is amazing. I have yet to experience the amazingness of kissing. To be honest kissing just gives me anxiety. It’s nothing special and if you do it badly you will be judged, especially if you’re not a teenager anymore. (Depending on your partner, my friend who is in her twenties has a lovely non judgey partner).

Honestly I love hugs and I could learn to get down with holding hands but kissing… still on the fence about that one.

Also have you ever watched romantic scenes in movies or TV shows where they don’t put background music? It’s so awkward! OMD! I mean that’s real life, but I don’t go to movies to see real life! I do like real life in TV shows though so good job.

We also put our kissing standards on animals. Kissing means nothing to them, they don’t kiss, they may lick and groom to bond but they don’t kiss! And yet we get so excited when lions smush their faces together. I say we but I’ve never gotten excited about that. I just sat there like, “What are they doing? Is that an act of aggression?” Or if it’s a cartoon, “Why are they acting so human?” Yes, I was a weird kid, never got swept away by the magic of it all.

Maybe that’s the problem! For all of these acts to not be weird we need to just go with it and not think too much about it. But I always think and as I said above science helped me understand most of those things.

*sigh* I’m a scientist. This is the conclusion of this post.

Do you find it as weird as I do or are you like, “What’s with you fam? It’s just physical affection!”

Let me know, until next time,


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