I was watching Brooklyn Nine Nine and I can’t remember the episode number but it’s in season 6 and it was the one were Captain Holt is the bimbo amongst Kevin’s professor colleagues. Jake kept saying this quoting Dr Phil and it resonated with me so I thought I’d share this with you.

There are exceptions to this rule. Sometimes people are jerks and dickheads and will treat you badly regardless of what you do, stay away from such toxic people.

So when it comes to friends and colleagues and even family members it is really good advice!

There are people in your life who treat you a certain way because they know they can get away with it. It’s like children; children know what they can get away with because they test the boundaries and learn. Adults do the same thing but we’re unaware of this.

Once an adult sees they get away with it they carry on treating you that way. So don’t let them get away with it!

It is easier said than done, I know.

For me this comes in not entertaining their bullshit. Someone came at me sideways at church and this person never spoke to me before this day. I have been going to that church since I was seven and that woman is older than me. I know her face but not her name (as we don’t talk at all- my church is big) and she greeted me to criticise me and I thought, “So the only time you talk to me in all my life it is to criticise me?”

I could have gotten angry but I answered her shady questions in a polite and curt manner and simply walked off when I was done. I didn’t need to stay and listen to her.

If someone sends you hate comments you don’t need to read them, you can block, report and move on.

If someone is treating you badly or making you feel like trash, ghost with confidence. Do not respond to their bullshit.

If they are someone you have to be respectful to, keep the conversation at surface level. Every time they try to worm their way into your personal life take it back to professional ground because they don’t need to know your business!

My name is Gift and I have been teased for this name. It was really bad at one point and they would call me names and expect me to respond so one day I stopped responding. They legit stood right next to me “calling” me and I didn’t hear them. Then they’d be like why aren’t you responding? And I’d be like, “It’s not my name.” And I walked off and they learnt quick. And now if they do it, I politely disengage and walk off. I don’t need that in my life.

So if people are treating you badly, don’t tolerate it. You don’t have to fight them; sometimes not responding is the most powerful tool. Calmly checking someone is also powerful, see Jesus for reference. Honestly people don’t talk about how effectively He clapped back at people who wanted to kill Him and kept trying to bring Him down enough. He really was efficient, calm and spoke straight facts.

There are times where you need to fight, and that can be hard but I say practise makes perfect. Once you do it once it becomes easier to do it again because you think, hey I did it before I can do it again. The more you do it the easier it becomes.

So yeah, ride on!

You can do it!

I have faith in you!