Beauty: Society vs the Individual

There are people in this world who are beautiful and we all accept that they are beautiful and I’m like why? I mean are all the celebrities who are deemed beautiful your type?

I can say, no.

That doesn’t mean I think they’re ugly, I just think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all attracted to different things. Of course there will be people who have the same tastes as you but at the end of the day it’s not like we all, the whole human race, have the exact same type.

So then who decides who is beautiful and who is not? Who decides curvy is beautiful or thin is beautiful? Who decides beards are sexy and a bare face is not? Who decides these things?

It’s society and those who control the narrative who decide.

But they’re so good at it because we don’t even think about it! I mean, we accept whatever it is that they tell us without thinking about it.

One thing I hate is the best/worst dressed thing they do at award shows. It’s so stupid. Fashion is supposed to be fun, experimental and also it’s supposed to express the individual’s personality. However on the red carpet it’s become who is the most polished and who fits societies standards of beauty/fashion the most.

I remember seeing Helena Boham Carter’s outfits and loving them because they were different and really suited her. I loved how unique she was but she got made fun of for that and it made me so upset because I don’t know her and I couldn’t tell her, “Hey, listen to me, you’re killing it!” I really wanted to let her know because I felt like she was only hearing the negative (obviously I didn’t know for sure, she may have heard the positive too).

And then there are celebrities who are deemed ugly and I’m like, ugly where? And there are celebrities who are deemed devastatingly handsome and yet I see them and I’m not devastated.

That’s when I knew for sure beauty was a personal thing. If I can disagree with thousands of people then that means my type doesn’t completely match up with society’s type.

Then there’s location to consider. Taylor R on YouTube sent her picture to people from different countries to photoshop it to make her look like what their country deemed beautiful. It was amazing how different each picture came out when she got them back. I’ll link the video here.

So those standards of beauty do not match everywhere. South Korea’s beauty standards don’t match with the UK’s and the UK’s standards don’t match with Norway’s and so on and so forth.

(Also kpop fans love to hate on Korea for their beauty standards but every country has them, let’s not pretend).

In Rwanda a big forehead is deemed as beautiful. It is a feature of my people and of East Africans in general. In England this is seen as ugly and I was bullied for it. Oh, how I still have issues with my forehead. But when I saw how Rwandese people saw it, it really opened my eyes. We really value different things. To the point that they’ll make fun of someone if they don’t have a big forehead… can you imagine?

Another thing is having a butt, a healthy booty, is something that is desired and seen as beautiful in Rwanda. Having big boobs is not something that is desired, in fact most of us don’t have big boobs, we have medium to really small. It’s to the degree where I know people who have no butt and big boobs and they’d give anything to swap.

It’s so interesting. Honestly humans are interesting (she says like she’s not human).

I got thinking about this when I saw someone, a Korean celebrity, who everyone thinks is good looking and I agreed. And I was like, “Wait, do I actually find him good looking or am I going along with what society says?”

This goes back to my previous post of wanting to be unique, sometimes I want that even with the men I like. *sigh*

Although having said that this man that I’m talking about is very pretty and I know a lot of women who don’t like that. In Rwanda men are pretty so I wonder if I got it from there. Then again my cousin who grew up in the same environment as me can’t stand pretty men; they have to be built, rugged and masculine when it comes to their physical appearance for her.

So yeah, what do you think shapes your standard of beauty? Are you going by what society tells you or do you have your own type?

I think everyone follows what society tells them until they realise how fickle society is. So, personally, I think when I was younger I was swayed more by what everyone else thought was handsome and if my thoughts didn’t match with theirs then I kept it to myself.

As I’ve gotten older and gotten to know myself more and really thought about what I like and what I don’t like I’ve started to see a sort of pattern. I do have a type but that type is not concrete. In the sense of if I find someone good looking and they turn out to be a jerk they become ugly to me. Or if I find someone average and then I get to know them and I love their personality they become hot to me. There are people who I am not attracted to  no matter what and I’ve also seen a pattern there too. I’ve realised that it’s not just about the face, there’s so much to what makes a person beautiful in my eyes.

So because of that I never call a person ugly, unless their personality makes them ugly, because who am I to judge? Who am I to say my standard of beauty is THE standard of beauty?

It always annoys me when friends try to push their standards on me, it’s like, no ma’am you like what you like and I like what I like, stay in your lane. So I try to stay in my lane too.

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