The Single Life

It is really hard for people to believe that I want to be single. Whenever I tell people this they always try to change my mind. I’ve heard some very interesting arguments, all of which I disagree with.  Perhaps that’s the stubborn side of me but I refuse to believe that you can’t live a full and happy life as a single woman.

Also, have you noticed it’s mostly when women want to stay single that it’s a problem. If a man is single, he’s cool and sexy. He’s a bachelor. He’s like batman whereas single women get equated to crazy cat women. Also what’s wrong with cats? It’s dog people propaganda I tell you!

I had someone tell me that I would die alone and miserable if I remained single. I was offended, as if God would allow that.

I strongly believe that I can live a content life by myself and as I’m Christian people always try to use the bible against me, as if Paul doesn’t exist! As if Jesus wasn’t single. Where does it say it is a sin to stay single?

That’s right, nowhere! Y’all are hating.

Or even the having children argument, you have to have children. And if you don’t want to then you’re a monster. Would you rather a child was born into a loving home where both the parents wanted it or into a home where the parents only had you because society bullied them into it?

If you don’t want children that should be fine. We don’t need to populate the earth. And besides the amount of women who don’t want to have children are less than the ones that do so it’s not like they’re endangering the human race. There’ll always be someone willing to populate the earth.

Then when I tell people I would rather adopt if I were to have children as there are many children who need homes, that becomes a problem too! I have to have my own biological children because… I have to. They never give me a reason I can’t refute.

They always go to, “Aren’t you curious how your child will look like?” and the answer is no. I look like my mother and my mother looks like my grandfather (her father) I can guess what my kid would look like.

Besides isn’t it good to adopt?

Being single and not having biological children of your own are real points of contention for some people and it’s like why? Mind your business. Why does my life concern you so much?

At this point in my life being single is the best thing for me. I am so much happier single. You don’t even understand, I am so happy. I do crave companionship sometimes but that usually happens when I haven’t spoken to my friends in a while or I’m reminded of my love for cats.

It would take a lot, A LOT, for me to give up my independence. In fact, it would take God bringing a man into my life to get me to give up my independence… even then, I would resist. I know I shouldn’t but I can definitely see myself resisting or saying no.

Relationships are a lot of work and I’ve realised I really can’t tolerate a lot of things from a person. I also realised after experiencing dating that I’m not missing as much as I thought I was. To me relationships are like friendships but sexy and I have friends and I have romance novels if I really want some sizzle.

Also I gain happiness from seeing people happy in love. Seeing friends and family have healthy relationships makes me happy, for them. It’s just so beautiful.

For me though, no thank you.

I don’t know if I’ll change. I can’t see the future. There are a lot of people who say I will and they could be right. I could meet someone who is exactly what I need and I am exactly what they need.

Or I could live a happy and full single life with my adopted children (in either situations I will adopt). I’ve seen women in their fifties happy as clams in their single life and thriving! So I reject that myth that being single makes you miserable and lonely.

If you’re in the wrong relationship that can make you miserable and lonely. So it’s best to live your life to the fullest according to your needs.

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