I can’t remember what I was watching or reading but I came upon something very interesting. Did you know that a human being, fully grown, needs four hugs a day for survival and eight a day for maintenance and twelve a day for growth (Virginia Satir, family therapist, ‘Why you should get (and give) more hugs’, healthline.com).
We need that many hugs?
On average I don’t even get one a day.
Now, I do know that hugs are important for children, especially babies. I don’t have the articles but there are plenty on the benefits of hugging and holding your child and there is plenty of research on what happens when you neglect to give your child physical affection.
However, I thought that when we become adults we don’t need it as much. I mean it’s nice and it’s comforting but I thought of it as more of a want rather than a need.
I am someone who is really bad at giving hugs. I’m not really used to it and so I normally wait for my friends to make the first move and once they do I reciprocate. However, I can’t make the first move, it’s so difficult.
The funny thing is I love hugs. I love good hugs, like when someone just firmly holds me and that’s it. It’s so comforting and warm and all that good stuff. I don’t get hand holding (I think I made a post on that) but I get hugs.
However, like I said, I thought it was a want and not a need. Apparently it’s a need! Even when you’re grown you still need physical affection.
Since reading that article it really changed my way of thinking. Now I want to make the first move. Even if it’s awkward and inside I’m cringing I want to make the first move so that my friends can feel that comfort.
You may be the first person to hug your loved one that day. They may have had an awful day. Or they may just want a hug. You never know. But I’m going to push myself to take that first step, to make that first move.
Some people can’t abide hugs and so you can buy them a weighted blanket. I’ve heard that is really effective and gives the same comfort.
As I know what it’s like to want to be hugged and yet no one does. I don’t want anyone to feel that… loneliness? I don’t know how to describe it but it’s close to loneliness.
Obviously you’re probably screaming, “It’s a pandemic we can’t!” right now and I know. This is all for when we’re allowed to touch again.
For now, I shall give a virtual hug to you all!!
*a minute long virtual hug*
There, I hope that made you feel better.